Here are 4 truths to apply to your emotional situation after a breakup, to better understand what it means to be single and how to face the so-called ‘singleness’.
Being single according to Buddhism:
In life, as in love, suffering is inevitable, but that doesn’t mean it will last forever.
After a period “no”, there is the possibility of unexpected surprises, especially in the end!
Buddhist philosophy is divided into 4 truths, and their teachings can be summarized as follows: there is suffering, there is an origin that causes this suffering, there is an end to suffering, and finally, there is a path that leads out of suffering.
Now, enough with this suffering that has worn us out!
To make the concept relevant to the discussion, we can say that being “single” is not negative but simply an opportunity that you may not have noticed yet.
Here are the 4 truths about being single!
#1 Being single after a relationship can cause ‘discomfort’
In the movie “Into the Wild,” the protagonist Christopher McCandless teaches us that “happiness is only real when shared.”
Essentially, this phrase explains that life is not meant to be lived in solitude, or at least not for its entirety.
Perhaps you’ve desired to meet someone with whom to share your days, and you’ve felt disheartened when you haven’t found anyone who aligns with you. This could be described as a state of “circumstantial distress.”
If you’ve experienced it, rest assured, it’s normal and even inevitable, but…
it’s not permanent!
Don’t ignore it, and don’t pretend to be immune to it (that would be worse).
Acknowledge it and allow it to be a part of your emotions.
If you do this, you’ll be ready to understand the second truth.
#2 Returning to being single after a relationship can happen
Embracing the disheartenment has helped you discover another important truth: accepting the possibility of returning to being single.
Most likely, before, you were in a romantic relationship, and when that relationship came to an end, you experienced a state of “imposed distress.”
This happens when, along with the relationship, the opportunity to continue sharing special moments ends without it being your choice.
Exactly, it’s possible to return to being single.
So?
Don’t think of it as a defeat; it absolutely isn’t! And besides, it wasn’t a competition; there was nothing to win…
Maybe it was the best thing that could have happened to you.
Maybe that person wasn’t the right fit for your plans.
Maybe you just need to acknowledge to yourself that it didn’t happen because of who you are.
But certainly, “happiness is only real when shared,” provided it’s with the right person!
You’re fine just as you are; you simply experienced a relationship to which the other person chose to assign an expiration date. It happens! Not in the literal sense of the word, but “it happens” because it can happen.
And it’s important to accept it… so, repeat after us: “Being single can happen, and there’s nothing wrong with that.”
Well, now try saying it out loud…
Feeling better? Then you’re ready for the third truth.
#3 Being single can make you feel better
You embraced the disheartenment and accepted the possibility of returning to being single.
And now?
Now, you can feel better and start living your “singleness” with love, acknowledging to yourself that, thanks to this experience, you managed to close the door on the distress and make room for something new.
Finally, you can sense a new energy: the desire to cultivate a hobby, dedicate yourself to work, start a project, or strengthen a connection with someone…
This feeling of “novelty” is simply the consequence of the initial distress you felt. Now that you’re single, you’ve discovered that this “pseudo companionship” with yourself is not as painful as it may have seemed at the beginning…
In fact, perhaps, being single is truly an opportunity that makes you feel better…
#4 Being single is secretly dating someone: YOURSELF!
And so… here we come to the last truth: you were never truly single; there was someone already pursuing you, and it was you, only you never noticed!
Surprised? It makes sense.
This statement might sound peculiar, but love isn’t solely about the romantic kind with a “partner.” If you learn to cultivate it as a state of well-being, you’ll discover that romantic love is just one aspect and it surfaces when you’ve learned to love the most important person of all yourself!
Therefore, it’s time to fully dedicate yourself to this fantastic love story and plan a date to strengthen it!
If you’re looking for advice, we’ve already come up with some ideas you absolutely can’t miss: read here about how to spend a fantastic Friday evening alone!
If, on the other hand, you feel like sharing your “singleness” with someone and having a good laugh, you might consider joining here and discovering that you’re not alone!
Remember, no matter what, Yooppe will always be with you! 💘
